P-L-A-Y...The Newest 4-letter Word

It's 8:30am on a Monday.  It's summertime.  For about an hour now, I've been planted on my white wicker porch swing, contemplating our conversation today.  Cup of coffee by my side, I'm soaking up the morning before the Missouri humidity sets in.  5 has been riding his battery operated Jeep through the yard.  Round and round the house he goes, stopping occasionally to pluck a dandelion.  His stuffed dog is strapped in the passenger seat, a pair of roller skates are in the cargo area in the back.  He giggles as he rides over the bumps, reminding his puppy to hold on tight.  Meanwhile, 10 is inside.  A blossoming foodie, she is whipping up a batch of french toast with homemade peach syrup for she and 5.  It's not unusual for her to come out with a towel over her shoulder, notepad in hand, taking 'orders.'  When she is feeling really fancy, she prepares a hand-written menu.

As I look over my right shoulder, I catch a glimpse of 5 sitting out in the field, still in his jammies, his back to me.  He is focused intently on whatever it is he is fabricating out of a blade of grass and a weed, no doubt.  Our rottweiler mix paces back and forth, keeping watch as a car passes.

It has just occurred to me that as I type, the song "I Miss Mayberry" is playing as I listen to the local country station through  my laptop. 

Sometimes it feels like this world
Is spinning faster
Than it did in the old days
So naturally, we have more
Natural disasters
From the strain of a fast pace
Sunday was a day of rest
Now it's one more day for progress
And we can't slow down 'cause
More is best
It's all an endless process

We don't live in Mayberry for sure.  But by today's standards, I think we are as close as we can be without living amongst the Amish. 

I heard this morning that for the first time in over 50 years, dolls have been replaced as the #1 ranking toy on little girls wish lists.  Guess what they are wishing for now?  Video games.  Yep.  That's right. 



I'll never forget the first time I realized how differently my kids live than many others.  10 was in about 2nd grade, and a friend of hers climbed up into our car to say hello after school.  A chunky little guy, his shorts always went well past his knees like capri pants in order to fit him in the waist.  A really sweet kid, he was being raised in a home with a housekeeper who made fresh cookies daily.  His mom would come to school each day with a 'snack' she had picked up from a local restaurant for the 5 minute ride home.  He climbed his short little legs up into my car and promptly announced that he wanted to come home with us and play sometime.  Before I could even respond, he began hammering me with questions.  We never got past the first one before he opted to decline a visit to my house after all.  "What kind of video games do you have at your house?" he asked as he wabbled on the running board of my SUV, holding on to the mirror in an attempt to steady himself.  The look on his face was priceless as I responded "None," and he looked at me as though I were speaking gibberish.  "No Wii? No Playstation?  What do your kids DOOOOO at home?"  I'm nearly positive his colon twisted in a knot at that very moment.  The mere thought of 'playing' left him constipated and confused.  That was the end of that.  He never asked to come to my house again.  Play???  You want me to......P-L-A-Y?  Whaaaaaat?

Call me crazy, but I have this weird belief that kids should actually play.  Like, play, play.  Pretend, use their imaginations, play.  Play house, play school, play secret agents.  Listen to the radio, read a book.  Do something.  Not sit on a beanbag chair in the air conditioning and pretend you are a carjacker as you give yourself premature carpal tunnel syndrome from holding a controller for 12 hours straight. 
10 and 5 don't have video games.  Well, I take that back.  They have a joystick that plugs into the tv that plays Pacman.  Once every couple months they get a wild hair to pull that thing out and play it for a while.  They don't have iPods, iPads, iPhones or anything else that starts with an i.  They do not get on the internet.  They are not allowed to play with my iPhone, and there are no games or children's apps on it.  They both have a cd player in their rooms, but no televisions.  That is about as technologically advanced as my kids will be allowed to get.  Never will they be told to 'Go to your room and put on a movie and get ready for bed.'  Nope, sorry.  You don't need to watch a movie to unwind for bed.  Go take a shower.  Wash the dirt out from between your toes from playing outside in flip flops.  Wash off the watermelon juice that has run from your wrist down to your elbow and formed a line as sticky as an ant trap.   Then, if we have time, maybe we can read a short book before we say our prayers and go to bed.  That is our night time routine, and I don't plan on changing it.

5 is known to leave miscellaneous tools and random batteries and screws all over my house like Hansel and Gretel's trail of bread crumbs.  10 has been known to read 5 different books simulataneously; a feat that leaves me a little baffled.  While some may view us as being behind the times, I'm okay with it.  I can promise you that when our children go out into the Big Bad World of Reality, they will thrive and prosper.  While their classmates fight for computer programmer positions, 10 and 5 will likely be running their own businesses like bakeries and engineering firms. 

How in the world will this generation survive in the world with no worldly experience?  I realize computers are a large part of our future, but there is no way there will be enough jobs for the millions of children who's idea of 'work' is using their thumbs on game controllers and cell phones.  There will only be so many positions for web design, computer networking and gamer crap. 

What the Hell are the rest of them going to do?  It's already painfully obvious that young adults are not thrilled about manual labor.  If you don't believe me, come work with me next time I run an ad for a laborer.  After speaking to approximately 200 applicants who believed themselves 'ready, willing and able to work'...I got 3 resumes.  Three.  T-H-R-E-E.  Tres. 

One was handwritten on a note-sized piece of paper in a woman's handwriting.  One misspelled his name on the resume when compared to the spelling on the envelope.  Only the third actually had one on file and was able to form complete sentences.  Many of the callers actually admitted that they only inquired about the opening so that they could list it as an attempt at employment and continue to collect their unemployment.  This is our future.  Let me just tell ya, I'm super excited about where THIS is gonna go.  NOT!

My only hope is that 10 and 5 can be extremely self-sufficient.  That way they won't have to rely on any employees to actually work with them in their business adventures.  Lord knows that by the time they reach adulthood, there will be NO ONE willing to actually work for a living. 

Apparently, we had better start hoping that one of those little turds can use their gaming experience to create a world like The Jetsons PRONTO!  That way the only individuals that will be expected to do manual work will be Rosie the Robot, and our children won't have to change their ways in order to prepare for adulthood.

Otherwise, I think we are screwed.