Ahhhhh yes, fake people. We all know them. When I say this, I mean those people who play like they are something that they are not, with the hope that no one will ever uncover that they are really just full of hoo-hoo. There are a lot of these fakers...
They play up their importance at their job to those who do not work with them, simply because no one will ever know if they are full of crap when they say they are nearing a promotion to a corner office with a view. Girl, no one is up in that elevator when she is really just the 'gopher' juggling 5 cups of coffee in a 4-cup holder and lookin like Monica Lewinski using a Shout stick to get the schmootz off her shirt (which she picked up off of the floor this morning and fluffed in the dryer to remove Monday's stench and wore it again). Stop tellin me how important you are at work, would ya? It doesn't impress me. I don't need to hear how much you are loved. I would be more impressed if you showed just a smidge of that love being directed toward others. Without expectation of reward. THEN, I'll be impressed.
When in a crowd, they excel at speaking with an authoratative voice and slightly louder than the others in the crowd to imply importance or wealth. Truth be told, she is just a damned big mouth who learned that trick when she was a kid. She talked over the top of all of the other kids on the playground because she was a big fat bossy butt, and still is. Maybe she has daddy issues or something, I don't know. Either way, back that ass up and talk at a reasonable volume, would ya?
They flaunt items they have purchased recently, offer to lend others cash, or constantly boast about a new home, new car, adoption of a child, whatever the case may be. They realize there is an invisible 'line in the sand' that most will not cross by asking such questions as "How much did that set you back?" Therefore, they imply wealth by talking about purchases, which leads others to believe that they must have an unending supply of money, knowing full well that no one will ever know the wiser because only THEY see their bank statements. 9 times out of 10, they are in debt up to their butt holes. AND, not paying their bills in order to afford such luxury items. But, you know, we leave that crap out when we are talking about how many passengers our new SUV holds, or how rolling the hills are on our new property, or what exclusive concert we just purchased tickets to. How about instead, we do something like give something to someone who is truly needy? WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE...AT ALL...Now THAT would knock my socks off. If I knew that you did it. Which I shouldn't....because you shouldn't tell anyone because then that would be bragging. But still....IMPRESSIVE!
I'm not sure if you have noticed, but I am a really honest person. I'm not perfect, and I don't have unlimited wealth. Yes, I have a big hog of an SUV...it is paid off...and I'm happy about that because it had a stupid high payment on it that I apparently only signed the paperwork on because I had inadvertently smoked crack prior to arriving at the dealership. I have a super cool playground in my back yard. I got it for $1. Seriously. I'm not even playing up in here, I wouldn't lie to you. It was Craigslist, they were desperate,it was covered in graffiti, and it was winter. 14 hours of disassembling a commercial playground in the snow and ice= big score once your hands have thawed out and summer comes. It also equals a grumpy husband, btw, just in case you were wondering. It had a giant, um, well...um, man-part spraypainted on the top of it. As well as a bunch of profanity. SO much that i couldn't let my daughter look at it or get near it until it was cleaned. She could spy the uh, man-part from the house. I told her it was a butterfly. A super wierd shaped butterfly....
THAT is how I scored that deal. I can't afford that kind of playground in real life...I just play that kind of person on tv. lol
I just find it to be better to always be who I am, not pretend to be who I wish I was. I'm too scatter-brained to attempt to keep up with what stories I told to whom, what they said in response, and plan what I should say next. I'm doing good to remember if I put deodorant on in the morning, let's be honest.
I do my best to be a good person. Sometimes I fart it up royally. In the end, though, I think I do okay. Call me crazy, but I have this moral obligation to be good because, if for no other reason, I know God is watching. No matter how long I wait, He doesn't seem to have any plans of offering a Free Day from that anytime soon. Rats.
I say it like I mean it, I don't pretend to be something I'm not. Well, that's not true. I do have a confession to make. I'm not a natural blonde. THERE, I said it! :)
Other than that, I'm pretty much an open book. I told you yesterday what size pants and bra I wear, what more do you want from me? I wear a size 9 shoe. I don't like my arms, I need a tummy tuck, and I am addicted to popcorn.
So, I hate to keep quoting Dr Suess here, but seriously people, they are words to live by!
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