Mushy alert!!!
Today, I am on and off with the tears as I think about my sweet grandma. I figured that nearly all of you could relate to the feeling of love and acceptance that comes along with most grandmas, and the pain that comes with losing one. I had an amazing dream about her last night. I'm positive it was her, letting me know she was all settled in in Heaven, and I decided that since she decided to pencil me in to HER busy schedule, I would do the same for her!
She was filled with kindness, never judged anyone, and was a wonderful Christian role-model. She could be a real spit-fire, and if provoked, could really be a rascal! Like many grandmas, she had soft skin, gentle hands, and always had a can of Aqua Net in the bathroom! She died very suddenly in February, just a couple days after Valentine's Day.
She was widowed in her early 40's, and never, ever gave the time of day to another man. She had been a stay at home mother until that point, so she took factory jobs to make a living once my grandpa passed away. She worked hard, never complaining...a novel concept in today's society for sure!
She didn't have much, but was always generous with what she did have. She was so patient with us as kids, though I am sure we were noisy, messy and sometimes drove her crazy. Each summer, my cousin and I would stay with her for a week or two and go to Vacation Bible School at her church. She spoiled us with ice cream, movies, parks and lunch at the diner. She let us do things our parents wouldn't have, like watch scary movies, stay up late, and even bought the tiny single-serve cereal boxes...something my mom said was a COMPLETE waste of money!
I used to put so much thought into the wardrobe I would bring to grandma's for our VBS time. I packed my favorite skirts, my best shirts...who in the world was I trying to impress? I was a pre-teen, so I was probably trying to impress everyone! LOL
She would let me use her curling iron to fix my hair, and of course, I would use her Aqua Net so it would hold. Oh, if only there were photograph evidence of what I actually looked like when I left that house!
She never got worked up about things. If we forgot our toothbrushes, we just brushed our teeth with our finger and her toothpaste for the week, no big deal. We bounced many a blow-up bouncy horse up and down her hall, hid Easter eggs inside the house when it rained, decorated lopsided Christmas trees with handmade ornaments, and rocked many a Cabbage Patch Kid to sleep there in that house...and she never got aggravated with us.
She loved us unconditionally, despite our faults. She was always supportive, always filled with love, and never asked for anything in return. She was the definition of grace.
Last night I had a dream about her that was so real, I woke up with tears running down my cheeks. She and I were having a conversation, and I was crying. She laughed at me and said, "I don't know why you are crying. I'm fine!" I continued to explain to her that she had died so suddenly, and that I really missed her and still couldn't believe she was gone. I kissed her and hugged her, making the most of my time; all the while, she just giggled and seemed so calm and happy. The softness of her cheek as I hugged her was so real, I can still feel it as I recall the dream. I had a chance to tell her all the things I wanted to tell her; all the things I thought she needed to know. I told her how much I loved her and missed her, how grateful I was for her. She reassured me that she was fine, happy and doing well.
I know it was her. I KNOW it was. What a beautiful way to find reassurance from a loved one.
Everyone needs reassurance once in a while. Even me. Don't ever doubt yourself when you think you've had an encounter with a deceased loved one. They can find some pretty crafty ways to say hello! It's just their little gift to you, and God's way of letting you know that the distance between here and 'there' is really much shorter than we think.
Love you, grandma!
No comments:
Post a Comment