Mom Spit and Lip Gloss

Happy Mother's Day!

I awoke this morning to a note placed by the clock by my 10 year old.  "Dear Mom. Please don't get up until 7am. I have a few surprises for you."
How sweet, I thought. Until I realized it was only 6:35am.  What in the world was I gonna do with myself for 25 minutes?  No tv...no phone....no computer. 

I yelled down the steps, requesting my phone and computer so that I could spend my time talking to YOU guys this Mother's Day morning.  Thankfully, I was granted permission to descend the staircase some 20 minutes ahead of schedule.  So here I am!

I've been thinking about what makes a good mom.  Or, actually, what makes a mom at all.  It is my personal opinion that utilizing your womb to house a growing fetus does not make a mother.

Being a mom is hard work if you do it right.  Sometimes you lose yourself for a while, getting lost in the shuffle to soccer practice and picking up the same barbies out of the floor every night after you put the kids to bed.  One day, you look in the mirror and think, "Wow.  I really look like shit!"  I've been there, done that.

It was then that I realized that one of the biggest disservices I could do to my daughter would be to lose myself as I raised her.  Being a mother is a self-less job.  There's no doubt about it.  We spend the majority of our time putting everyone else, and our work, first.  BUT...and this is a big but...
We all feel better when we look better.  And, if we take just a few minutes to look better, which makes us feel better, then we can mother better.  It's all a mental game.  If you feel like crap about yourself, you just tend to be a little grumpier, no? 

Then, there's what we are teaching our kids if we walk around in mom pants with a saggy butt, crazy hair and bags under our eyes.  We are teaching our kids that a mom's job is to give everything of herself and expect nothing in return.  Oh, and we are embarassing the crap out of them at the grocery store, too, I may add!  Nothin like mom pants to make a kid not claim you!

I see you in the stores.  Don't think I don't.  Other people do, too.  And, my Lord...your kids see you!  Your daughters, especially.  When you go out in public looking like you don't care, it sends a message to your kids that you have given up.  WHY would you give up?  Every day that you have children that are healthy is a day to celebrate.  Some of us have sick kids, who have issues we never could have foreseen...but if they live another day, and we are blessed to be there for it, then THAT is a victory!  So, why in the world am I seeing you at the grocery store looking like you lost all of your belongings in a fire, and all you have left are clothes that don't fit and an ill-fitting bra? 

Come on, girl!

I have learned that, by finding myself again, I found a way to be happier doing the same things I was already doing for my family.  I just feel  better.  I'm reminded of the verse in the bible regarding how to carry yourself when you fast:


Matthew 6:16-18
But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, ¹⁸ so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

In layman's terms what they are saying is this:  Don't go around advertising that you  are fasting, like "Hey, look at me, I'm a good Christian.  I'm fasting today.  That's why my face is dirty and I look so hungry. Cuz I'm fasting...."

Much in the same way, we don't have to walk around looking rough, wearing baggy sweat pants and our husband's t-shirts that are 5 sizes too big in order to prove we are a busy mom.  Take a little pride in yourself.  You are a pretty amazing creature.  Show it off!

This is my eleventh Mother's Day.  The first was spent in St Louis Children's Hospital with my oldest, just a few days old, fighting for his life in the PICU.  I was overwhelmed, beaten up, scared to death and looked like my body had melted somehow.  Today, my kids are preparing surprises for me in the kitchen, and I am sipping coffee (that they made me, btw) and talking to you.  I'd say I've come a long way!  And lived to tell about it, too.

Whatever your challenges, try to make the best of it.  Sometimes things don't go the way we had planned.  And, dangit, why not look SMOKIN HOT while you do it?  :)  Slap on some eyeliner today.  If you are feelin super sassy, put on some lip gloss, too.  Maybe your kids will think you have
lost your mind, but that's okay.  Don't inadvertently teach your kids that being a mother means losing yourself.  Some day, when they grow up and do the same thing, you will be sad that THAT is what they learned from all of the years you gave all you had to them.  Be proud of being a mom.  An awesome mom.  A beautiful mom.  It doesn't matter if you gave birth to them yourself.  That's not what makes a mother.  It doesn't matter if you are chasing two year old twins or schlepping teenagers around.  Take a couple minutes to go through your closet and burn those big ole sweatpants with the bleach stains.  Throw out the scrunchie from highschool that you still pull your hair back with. 

Be proud.  We are pretty fabulous, us mothers.  We can do all kinds of things men can't do (even though we let them believe they are our big strong steeds who handle everything for us).  We can carry a child in our womb.  And don't forget the Mom Spit.  I mean, mom spit removes anything from a kid's face, it can slick down stray hairs on a kid's head, and in a pinch, can make a boo boo feel better just like magic.  it's not called Dad Spit, now is it?????  Come on, girls.  We ROCK!

  Why not look your best while you do all these amazing things?  You'll feel better.  I promise. 

Happy Mother's Day, girls.