Did you ever have one of those days (or weeks) when you just feel like you are drowning? Overwhelmed, exhausted, fed up and ready to just blow a gasket?
Yeah, me too.
Everyone has them, in fact. And, it's usually those times that we are least aware of God. Not because we want to be, but because we are caught up in the all the hoo-hah going on and we just forget He is there. The more crap that piles up in our life, the more overwhelmed we get. The more overwhelmed we get, the further the crap piles up. It's a vicious cycle, really. It's kind of like when you watch the show "Hoarders", and the person always says, "I just don't know how this happened." Only, here, the crap piles are invisible!
It's during these poop-covered times that we should be paying the closest attention to God. Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to hear Him sometimes. I swear, He speaks in the tiniest, softest whispers sometimes...it just makes a girl crazy! BUT, if you pay close enough attention, you can usually pick Him out in the crowd. Sometimes, when the whispers don't work, He resorts to more drastic measures. That's when you know He really wants you to pay attention! However, He gave us all Free Will. He won't MAKE us do it...He just sits and hopes we will.
The next part, I suppose, would be actually LISTENING to Him once you hear Him. Yeah, that part is pretty tough. Sometimes, you can't figure out what the heck He wants you to do. Other times, you figure out He is wanting you to do something WAY out of your comfort zone. I swear, sometimes I think He may have me confused with someone else, because surely He is out of His ever-lovin' mind to think I can do that thing I think He is thinking I am gonna be thinking about doing! He usually wins, though. Because now that I have learned that following is a lot easier than leading when it comes to playing with Him, I try my best to just shut up and go where He says. It's like Simon Says, sort of, but with God. So, seriously, it just seems smarter to play along!
Dang, it would be easier if He shared the rule book, though. That's how He cheats. He's crafty like that. Half of the thrill for Him, I swear, is the suspense He keeps us in, and that stupid look on our faces because of it.
Sometimes I am convinced He just messes with me to see if I will break. Or, to show me how much further I can go than I thought I could. He believes in me, way more than I do myself, because He knows first hand what I am capable of.
Today was a crazy day. I have felt overwhelmed, unsure, freaked out and just ready to cry several times. It happens to all of us. I did my best to keep trudging along, telling myself that it would work out. How many times today did I quietly pray, "Ok God. Please let it all work out. Please help me."
Good grief! At this point, I bet He is sick of hearing from me! It's been close a couple of times today. I nearly climbed over the counter at Walgreens and choked a clerk...but I refrained. It's been one of those days. Hairy look in your eye, twitchy neck kinda days. And just when I was ready to quit (or drink, lol), I heard a rumble behind the sofa. I considered shutting the door, locking it and telling the rumble to piss off and come back another day, because I did not have the time or the patience for it! Instead, though, I rolled my eyes, (snotty look on my face, I'm sure) and said, "Seriously, what NOW?"
Guess what it was? Behind the sofa....Guess! It was God. He jumped right out, surprised the crap out of me, then laughed! You see, I always know He is close by. I know He hears me. I'm kinda loud, He doesn't have much choice in the matter. But, somehow, even I get caught up in mumbo jumbo and lose track of the big picture sometimes. When that happens, He always does a little something to spice things up and remind me that He is close. And listening. Always.
He threw me a life preserver when I needed it today. I almost passed it off as coincidence, so He made the sun come out through the clouds. I thought that seemed suspicious, but got overwhelmed again and almost turned my back one more time. So He clapped really loud to get my attention, then smiled at me, winked and dried up all the water in an instant....just in case I wanted to blow Him off one more time. "How do you like me NOW?" is what I'm sure He was thinking.... :)
That God. He's a funny guy. He always knows just how far He needs to push me to get my attention. I think He knows that when the water gets up to about my waist, I'll always wrap my arms around His neck, jump up into His arms and say, "CARRY ME, SUCKA!" But, sometimes, He just likes to hear me ask nicely.
And sometimes, He hangs out behind the sofa. With the dust bunnies, lost socks and pieces of popcorn. He just sits and waits for you to turn out all the lights, grab a box of tissues and bawl your eyes out because you just can't do it anymore. Then He jumps out and says, "Made ya look!!!! Don't worry, I got this!"
He's crazy like that. It's how He rolls....
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