A Drama-nado? Ain't Nobody Got Time for Dat!

The Lord Giveth, and the Lord taketh away.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures...

He also maketh me pee when I jump now, which I find to be less than desirable...

and a bunch of other things that sometimes confuse me!  But why?  Why?  Why would He do that?

Why do things happen that we can’t explain?  Why do we have to endure sorrow, pain, loss and fear? 

Well, anything to do with my girly parts, like painful childbirth or peeing when I jump, I tend to blame on Eve and that stupid apple.  I’m still convinced that God was really going to have our babies be delivered by storks until that heifer screwed it up for us.

THE REST???  Like the giveth and the taketh?  Well, that’s a God thing.

Today, I’ve been thinking about friends.  The people we think are our friends, anyway.  Sometimes we mistakenly place value on the number of friends we have.  In today’s society especially, where we have 200, 300, 600 ‘friends’ on facebook, somehow we begin to believe that this makes us more appreciated, more validated, more liked. 

In reality, all it means is that we let up to 600 people nose thru our pictures, post a cheesy ‘Happy Birthday’ message on our page, and some of us keep these 600 people up to date on what we’ve had for breakfast.  But why?  Why do we feel somehow more important if we have that many ‘friends’?  And, let us be seriously realistic here, NO ONE has 600 close friends.  Sorry to burst that fantasy bubble you’ve been living in...but let’s be honest, shall we? 

So, we’ve got these 600 friends, and we take to facebook and Twitter to air our every thought, post ridiculous selfie pics and then we sit and wait.  We wait to see who ‘likes’ them, who tells us we look pretty, and who will blow up our self esteem bubble for today.  Seriously?  Is this what it’s come to?  Yep.  Sure has.  I see it over and over, and over and over, and over and over again.  I want to scream (if it were possible to scream thru a computer, which I’m sure is an advancement that is on the cusp of reality as we speak), ‘STOP posting pictures of yourself over and over again!  I see your arm.  I know you took it!  Congrats, you’re having a skinny day, or a good hair day, or whatever the heck makes you think it’s a Kodak moment....but I already KNOW what you look like....and I’m pretty sure everyone else does, too!’

This is what our society has become.  And, while I’m guilty of enjoying a good cup of coffee on a Saturday morning, on my porch swing, scrolling thru Facebook to get caught up on the news, drama and funny e cards....I am coherent enough to acknowledge that only a few of these people are truly my ‘friends.’  I’m good with that.  I’m of sound enough mind to prevent me from running into traffic, and this also allows me the ability to not get caught up in the craziness that is Facebook.  I don’t ‘check in’, and I certainly don’t keep everyone posted on how many times a day I poop.  If you unfriend me because you don’t like something I said, that is your prerogative.  I’m ok with it.  WhatEv!

 

However, lately I’ve noticed a lot of people around me struggling with the loss of a ‘friend’, or a companion, and it’s just made me think.  DISCLAIMER:  As I type this, I have that old TLC song, ‘What About Your Friends’ playing in my head.  Sorry if I get distracted! 

Why is it that some people come into our lives, and stay with us for the duration, while others come in and blow out and leave us in a tailspin?  Well, perhaps it’s God at work!  Maybe you only needed the person in question for just a moment, just long enough to teach you something about yourself!  Did you ever consider THAT? 

Maybe, just maybe, it’s all a masterfully orchestrated life lesson....set up by God, allowing you the opportunity to grow. 

You were friends with her when you were in kindergarten?  Well, that doesn’t really mean much when you’re an adult, now does it?  If, now, some 20 or 30 years later, she comes waltzing back into your life and you magically reconnect....do not, I repeat DO NOT assume that she is there to stay.  Maybe God put her there to teach you something.  If, six months down the road, you begin to see that (in the words of Cindi Lauper) her true colors are shining thru...and you don’t like them?!  Welp, look for the lesson in it and move on! Her husband is a lying scoundrel? She is a phony, fake poser?  You have to look at that and think of the old adage, ‘Birds of a Feather Flock Together.’  Do YOU want to FLOCK with THAT?  Nope!  Then move on!  

Be a big enough person to not call her out in the middle of a coffee house when you see her, though.  Ain’t nobody got time for dat!  (Though it would be super empowering, wouldn’t it?)  Be true to the person you are, don’t have a fight that would make any Housewife of New Jersey proud right there in the middle of the place; tables being thrown, hair being pulled....

Simply distance yourself, take a step back, and let her take the hint.  Sure, she may get ugly.  Even if she doesn’t know WHY you’ve distanced yourself, and then decide she wants to make it appear that SHE is the one that’s too good for YOU....she may even muddy the water, stir up some drama, and try to create a smoke show to take the attention off of herself.  But, THIS is where part of the lesson comes from.  Learning that you have grown enough, you’re mature enough, to NOT get involved in the childish game.  Later, when you look back on it, you’ll see that she was put in your path to show you that you are capable of being true to yourself, the YOU that has been created by all of the events that have happened in your life.  You are a compilation of all of your struggles, your heartbreaks, your triumphs and your victories.  Why would you compromise all of that for someone who isn’t living an authentic life?  Hmmmmm??????

 

God places people, places and things in our path.  He has intention, even if we don’t see it.  He puts thoughts into your head, He puts things into your heart.  He puts the bait on the line, casts it into the water............................and waits.

He waits to see if you’ll bite.  Then, when you bite, will you stay on the line or get scared and jump off?

There are no coincidences, there is only God at work.  Friends are no different.  Some are put in your life to help you, some are put there to teach you, and some are put there so that you can help them.  If you take each falling out personally, then you will fail to see the PURPOSE.

I could go on all day, providing you with examples, scenarios and funny stories.  Well, they are funny NOW, they weren’t so much funny then.   I’m a big enough person to carry myself with grace now.  I’m confident enough in the person I’ve become to not need to air another person’s laundry just to prove that I’m not at fault.

 Why?  Because I’ve learned to see the writing on the wall.  I can see His handprints on the drama-nado that swept in and swept out so fast that my head is spinning.  (Yes, I said drama-nado. If there can be a Sharknado, there can certainly be a drama-nado.  There’s a patent pending.  Hee Hee)  I may not know the full story just yet, the ins and outs and the whys of it all....but I will.  I’ll figure it out.  Because now I realize that there’s more to it than just me losing a friend.  There’s a reason. 

 

I’m a regular Scooby Doo at this point, solving mysteries and super sleuthing!  Once you figure out that it’s all part of a bigger plan to build you up and make you who He wants you to be....you can let it roll off of your back easier. 

Be confident in who you are.  Do not compromise who you are for anyone.  Look for the lessons in the losses and hurdles.  If you can’t see them right now, that’s ok.  Revisit it in a few months, once you’ve licked your wounds and had a chance to regroup. 

 

NOW..................................

CUE THE MUSIC!

"What About Your Friends"

Every now and then I get a little crazy
That's not the way it's supposed to be
Sometimes my vision is a little hazy
I can't tell who I should trust or just who I let trust me (yeah)

People try to say I act a little funny
But that's just a figure of speech to me
They tell me I changed because I got money
But if you were there before then you're still down with me

[Chorus:]
What about your friends
Will they stand their ground
Will they let you down again
What about your friends are they gonna be low down
Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you

Well is it me or can it be I'm a little too
Friendly so to speak hypothetically
Say I supply creativity to what others
Must take as a form of self-hate
Only to make an enemy
Which results in unfortunate destiny
They dog me out then be next to me
Just cause I am what some choose to envy

Every now and then I get a little easy
I let a lot of people depend on me
I never though they would ever deceive me
Don't you know when times got rough I was standing on my own
I'll never let another get that close to me
You see I've grown a lot smarter now
Sometimes you have to choose and then you'll see
If your friends is true they'll be there with you
Through the thick and thin

 

 

D