What is it with people?
I mean, if you DON'T know me, but you are trying to sell me something...please do not say things to offend me. Seriously, you are NOT helping your case any.
The kids and I went into a local health food store today. It is fairly new to our town, and about the size of a bedroom. However, I was on a mission for one item...ONE. Uno. Some of you already know that my family and I are health nuts. I don't wear Jesus sandals, and I don't have dredlocks. I'm not what I would classify as 'granola', but we do shop at places like Whole Foods, we eat organic, and we use things many of you would laugh at like all natural deodorant and toothpaste. I loooooove health food stores, and healthy grocery stores. I actually enjoy walking up and down each aisle, looking at each item. I make my husband mad when we go on vacation, because I always want to go to the local grocery store and explore. I know, I'm a dork.
The other thing you may know is that I have some super crappy food allergies as a result of a candida yeast overgrowth. I can't eat anything fun like wheat, oats or rice. That means no bread, no pasta, and no cake or pie.
Now that you have my backstory, I shall continue. So, I found these recipes for 'raw' desserts. Excited about the possibility of actually being able to participate in dessert again, the kids and I set out for the one ingredient I didn't have in my pantry: Coconut Butter.
I know I have seen this at Whole Foods, but that's nearly an hour away. In a pinch, and with a desperate excitement I was trying to contain, we walked into this bedroom-sized store.
The owner IS what I would call granola. She immediately spotted us on the sidewalk, before we even entered the store. As soon as that little bell jingled, she was out of her seat and ready to help. I told her what we were looking for, and as she walked toward it (she literally only has two free standing racks, creating two aisles...so we weren't exactly on a grand expedition here...she begins a conversation that I found offensive.
"So. You've heeeaaaaaarrrrrdddd of coconut butter?" She says to me, looking over her shoulder like I was a freaking moron who had just recently learned to function in society. I wanted to shout at her, "Look lady. This ain't my first rodeo. I know what all this stuff in your store is. I didn't just down a Big Gulp and put my cig out on your doormat, then walk up in here in a cloud of smoke, acting like a health nut."
Thankfully, I refrained from saying all the things I was thinking, and simply agreed with her. She walked to the aisle, where two jars of this coconut butter sat. I picked it up, and she stood watching me like a nervous mother, waiting to be told her kid is cute. I flipped it over to find the price tag, because, let's be honest--it's gotta be worth it. $14. Yup. $14. I sat the jar back on the tiny shelf and told her, basically, thanks but no thanks. She looked at me with a desperate look in her eye, and I told her that I didn't $14 need it, because I can substitute coconut oil, which I have at home.
She proceeded to stammer around about how it was so good for you, blah, blah, blah. It only went downhill from here. She asked if we had been in the store before, and I kindly told her we had been in right after she opened. I told her we would take a look around before we left.
She then began her high-pressure sales techniques. 'Isn't there anything ELSE you may need?' she asked. I wanted to tell her that I just went to the grocery store yesterday, so my pantry and fridge were all stocked up. I didn't, though, because I was still trying to be nice at this point.
She then stood in front of us, almost blocking our path, and asked if my kids had all of their vitamins? 'Yup, we're good.'
Ugh. We walked around the corner to the next, and last aisle. Seeing nothing I needed, and certainly not at her high prices, I was ready to leave. We walked toward the door, which is by her register, where she sat, perched and waiting to pounce.
Fabulous. She sat there like a turkey vulture, and I felt like a possum struck by a car...wounded but not dead, watching her circle above me....waiting.
Her next question appeared innocent enough at first. She asked the kids if they were ready for school to start. "Oh yeah, I'm ready." Said 10. "Are you getting bored?" The lady asked. I laughed, and said, "Yeah,they keep saying they are bored and there's nothing to do.'
Little did I know that this apparently means that I let my kids sit around and play video games all day or something, because this woman's response was remarkably assuming. "Yeah, it just seems like kids don't know how to play anymore, doesn't it?"
SERIOUSLY? Anyone who knows me knows that my kids are extremely creative. They play outside constantly, we do not own video games, and they are very limited on their television programs. In fact, they are only allowed to watch a television show after I have watched it and approved it. They are only allowed to watch a couple of shows per day....the rest of the time I expect them to be playing and being creative.
Oy. I couldn't get out of this store fast enough. At this point, surely this woman could see that my blood pressure was rising, right?
Oh no. Apparently, I hide it super well. As we finally got to the welcome mat, and I got my hand to the door, I thought I was home free! Newp.
She was still scratching for a sale, and asked me one more time if I was sure that I didn't need anything else. I told her I was sure, and tried to escape. It was then that she said, "Oh, it's too bad I'm out of newsletters. I would give you one...but I'm out."
Then she pointed at a little rack of magazines. I had already seen them there, and knew they were the same free health store magazine that I normally pick up at my regular health food store. She tried to get me to take one, but I already had one foot out the door, literally.
I told her that I already had it, and she had the nerve to ask me, "Well, you already told me you haven't been here since I first opened. How can you have THIS one? It's the new edition."
OMG, seriously? This woman could apparently argue about anything. She forced me to tell her that I get it at another local health food store. At this point, the door was all the way open, and I was walking out. She still wasn't done, though. She pointed out the Healthy Planet newspaper on the bottom shelf. 'What about that? Do you have that?"
'Yep. I get that at Whole Foods.'
'Oh', she said. With this, I shewed the kids out the door and back to the car. Holy cow, the nerve of some people, I thought.
In 3 minutes time, she tried to push vitamins at me, offended me by implying that my kids don't know how to play on their own, and then all but called me a liar when I said I already had the free magazine she was offering.
Needless to say, I won't be back. I'm pretty sure I will drive 20 minutes to my normal health food store.
It's things like this that make me hate people. LOL
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