You know all that crap you keep saying you’re going to do,
but don’t?
Yeah, I mean like the important stuff. Not cleaning out the closets, or making a
donation box, or recycling. I know we
ALL have that stuff.
I’m talking about the stuff that actually matters. Like taking your kids on a date. Or finally finding time to do something for
yourself, because you always do everything for everyone else.
Or how about the things like actually chasing that dream you
have, the one you don’t really tell people about because you are afraid they
will laugh at you? Yep, you have one,
don’t you? Why do we do that? What in the heck are we waiting for?
We all get so caught up in the stuff we don’t like: work, school, car payments, mortgages…we get
all balled up in that wad of yarn that we can’t even find the end to it
anymore. So we give up, stay there, and
everyday becomes Groundhog Day! Before
we know it, 3 years have passed, and we are still stuck in grandma’s box of
knitting stuff, saying that someday we are going to make a sweater!
TODAY IS THE DAY PEOPLE!
MAKE THE DAMN SWEATER!
Ugh. I’m not just
preaching to YOU, here. I’m talking
to myself, too. I actually do that a lot, much to the dismay
of onlookers. Thankfully, the voices in
my head are loud enough to distract me from looking at my surroundings and
seeing the looks on their faces as I carry on my conversations. J
Last night I couldn’t
sleep. I have had this happen in the
past, and I would lay there and eventually have an overwhelming feeling that I
should get up. Upon doing so, I would
always turn on the television to find that some show was on that seemed to
mysteriously have some underlying tone that answered a question I had been
having, or revealed just what I had been needing to hear. Coincidence I’m sure, right? Certainly not a God thing…couldn’t be! J
So, last night, I was figuring this was one of THOSE things
again. I still have yet to figure out
why God thinks a sleep-deprived me is a benefit to anyone! I already live on coffee, and I’m still
teetering on the edge of what some call sanity and others call grounds for
being committed. Nonetheless, I decided
to go ahead and get up. I stumbled
downstairs and rather than turn on the idiot box, I picked up my phone. I have no idea, truthfully, what I thought I
would learn from Facebook at 4 am, but I’ll just blame it on fatigue and move
on.
Within minutes I learned that a classmate and high school
friend of my husband’s had died. 35
years old. All of this (and my lack of
sleep) got me thinking about how short life truly is. If I died tomorrow, what regrets would I
have? What would I be pissed at myself
about for not doing?
I can tell you one thing.
I am pretty happy about some changes I have made in my life in the past
year or so. I have much less to be mad
at myself about in the event that God decides He needs a nutbag in Heaven!
Have you?
We all go through this mental game when something happens
like this. We tell ourselves we will
live life to the fullest. We try our
best to live like that Tim McGraw song, “Live Like You Were Dyin.”
For a while…
Inevitably, we all go back to taking things for granted,
selling ourselves short and putting off happiness until tomorrow.
We have to stop. If
you died tomorrow, what would you be mad at yourself for?
WHY WAIT? Why take a
chance?
Personally, I have found myself surrounded by friends
again. Real friends. Some old, some new… They have my back. They tell me the truth, not just what I want
to hear. They tell me I have broccoli in
my teeth. They laugh at me when I look
stupid. And when I need them, they are
there.
That wasn’t the case a couple of years ago. Like many people thrust into grown up-hood,
suddenly we find ourselves surrounded by acquaintances and coworkers, but no
real, true friends. Gone are the days of
high school when we were flooded with BFF’s and passing notes. Stop waiting for good friends to find
you! Go find them yourself. And if you can’t find them, make new
ones. What good is life if, at the end
of the day, you’re staring at your spouse saying, “Oh, goody. It’s you again. My one and only friend.” Everyone needs a confidant. Everyone needs someone to make them
laugh.
I finally stopped worrying so much about what other people
thought of me, too. I mean, why was I
trying so hard to hold back my inner dork just to fit in? I’m goofy.
I’m funny. I’m silly. I make funny faces when I tell a story, I
talk with my hands, and that’s just the way it is. I am honest, I am trustworthy, and I am
loyal, too. If you like that, cool. If not, that’s okay. But whether you are a family member, or a
so-called friend, or my mailman….I’m not going to hold back my inner me
anymore. This is who I am. Take it or leave it. That’s up to you.
Finally, I got off my butt and finished the thing that was
always gnawing at me. For 10 years, I
had a deep-seeded guilt. I was so plagued
by it that it would creep up on me at night, and tap me on the shoulder. We all have that. That ‘thing’ we are going to do, or say, or
be….that thing that we put off. We’re
waiting for more money to make it happen.
Or someone to support us while we do it.
Or someone to give us just the boost we need to make us feel like we CAN
do it. Or, we’re waiting until we can no
longer ignore it. Mine was a book. What’s yours?
Figure out why you are waiting. Be honest with yourself, and stop putting it
in the back drawer of that file cabinet in your mind. Pull it out of the folder, look at it, and
blow the dust off of that sucker. Then
stick it on the refrigerator in your mind where you can see it. AND MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Because, seriously, life really IS short. Look at how big your kids are already. Or how long you’ve been out of high
school. Or how old your parents are
getting….
Doesn’t seem like it’s been THAT long, does it? But it has.
If something happens to you tomorrow…what are you gonna be mad at
yourself about?
Now get up and MARK THAT OFF THE LIST!
J
You can have another cup of coffee first, though. Let’s not be ridiculous about this!
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