Girlfriends, Coffee, Pee Pants and Bail Money

Well, another crazy week has passed.  I sit here on this Saturday morning with a cup of coffee by my side...and with mixed emotions, I admit to you that it is Pumpkin Spice.  I am struggling with the thought of welcoming Fall, as Spring/Summer are surely my favorite seasons.  I resigned myself to getting a darker color on my toes this week during a MUCH needed pedicure. So needed, in fact, that I apologized in advance to the girl for the condition of my feet.
I'm dipping the teensy weensy tips of my toes into Fall, one Pumpkin Spice latte at a time.  Sigh.

What made this week special, though, was something that has had my mind reeling all morning. A discovery of sorts, I suppose...in the words of C + C Music Factory, they are 'things that make me say 'Hmmmmm.'  Yep.  I just went there.  Now that song's gonna be stuck in your head! 

This week, I've been thinking about friends, and the impact they make on our lives.  The way that a friend understands us better than our spouse, better than our mother, better than we do, really.  It goes without saying that, without friends, life is pretty gray.  Friends are the colors that flood our coloring book sheet.  Without them, it's just black and white.

Friends can tell we are pissy by the look on our face, even when we are trying to suck it up like a Ninja.
Friends can tell we are bloated, even though they may not say it for fear of having their jugular ripped out.
Friends make us laugh even we are so pissed off, dammit, that it is the last thing on our mind and we have already vowed not to laugh for at least 24 hours in protest.
Friends force you to participate in things you really try to weasel your way out of, because they know that once you get there, you will have fun, let your hair down and forget that you were being a big baby.
Friends show up for parties, even when they would rather be at home in bed pigging out watching a movie.
Friends listen to you complain about all the things in your life that aggravate you, and know when it is safe to give advice.  They also know how to see the warning on your forehead, written in invisible ink, that is similar to the Surgeon General's warning on a pack of cigarettes that declares that they best not give advice on this particular subject, as to avoid being pummeled to death with a wine glass in their sleep.  This is an ability that husbands seem to lack.  Sort of like when he shops with you and asks if you are SURE the size in your hand is big enough?  Really?  I'll glue your manparts to your belly button while you sleep, bucko.  Do not EVAAAAR ask me that again!

Friends will announce, at a table full of people, in a public place, that you need to get your hair-did again because they can see your gray.  Those same friends' lives will be spared, rather than drowning them in a margarita with a full audience, because you know they said it with love.  AND, because you know that it's always smarter to do said things in the still of the night with no witnesses.

Friends know that once in a while, when you begin to spurt out words so fast that they are completely incoherent and so high pitched that only dogs can hear them; you just need to go put your feet in some hot water and get your toes did.  And possibly consume some fruit that comes in a bottle with a cork.  You know, to meet your daily quota according to the food triangle.  REALLY good friends have a secret stash set aside in the back of a junk drawer that even their husbands don't know about marked 'Bail Money.'

Yep.  Suffice it to say, friends are very important.  Without friends, it's just you and your spouse staring at each other every day asking, 'So, what do you want to do?'  Ugh.  Poke my eyes out.  And, well, if you don't have a spouse....then it's just you making up voices for your cats and sending birthday cards to people that have been signed with your opposite hand as if the cat signed it.  Yeah, we weren't fooled. We know Fluffy didn't grow an opposable thumb.  Stop playin...

So, be thankful to your friends.  They put up with you when no one else in their right mind would.  They probably drink heavily because of it, but that's beside the point.  They dress up in stupid costumes for you.  They put a stupid hat that looks like a turkey on a platter on their head in the middle of a store because you want to see it.  They go to stores they hate because you have a coupon, they do the YMCA in full drag to entertain you, and they tell you when your eyeliner is smudged so badly that you look like you should be lying on a street corner in a puddle of your own vomit.  They love you even though you are a ridiculous pain in the butt.  In some cases, they sit squished between a sweaty guy who sleeps with his head nestled in his chest like Big Bird and a guy that is so hairy his arms look like they are covered in tarantulas...for hours, on a plane, folded up like a damned origami swan as to avoid getting the Cheese Touch from said men, just to come see you for a while and sit around and read inTouch Magazine and gossip like school girls. 

So, to my girls....you know who you are. 
Some have been faithful to me since high school, sharing my biggest life moments like marriage proposals gone a little awry.  (LOL)  So what if they talked through 3/4 of the prayer before dinner at my wedding reception standing in front of everyone at the head table, not even noticing everyone else had their heads bowed; after flying in for said wedding with a bridesmaid's dress that was hoochie mama short compared to everyone else's...all for me.  :)

Some of you have known me through my darkest hours, and loved me through them.  And even though we may not have always been as close as we should have been, we have redeemed ourselves now.  We have been there through the ups and downs of each other's lives: deaths, divorces, drama and dumb ideas.  All of those things have made us stronger, better people.  We can talk about peeing when we jump and keep a serious face because we pick up what the other is puttin down.  We can speak with funny accents to each other, all day, in public, and not really give a crap if someone looks at us funny.  Now THAT is friendship.

And, some of you...well, I just know that you were sent to be in my life at just the right time.  Somehow, mysteriously, we all came together without noticing and then suddenly BOOM, there we were.  We make each other better by looking like idiots sometimes, but we don't seem to mind.  We cackle with laughter, we embarass ourselves in public and we are better because of it. We love each other despite the miles between us, and we always hold a spot at Zumba for each other, knowing that eventually, we will all be back together again.  We do our best to lessen the distance between us when we are apart, and make the best of our time together when it comes.  We nurse each other through injuries, life-changes and drama.  We love each other through pain and fear, all with a stupid smile on our faces and the occasional ridiculous costume.  The best part is that we don't do it out of obligation...We do it because we WANT to.  THAT is what friends do. 

So, in the words of Donkey....'You gotta have FRIIIIIIIEEEEEENDDDSSSSSSS!' 

You guys ARE the Donkey to my Shrek.  The toppings to my parfait, because EVERYBODY loves parfait!  I love you.  Thanks for making me a better person.